Lucky all round not 1 but 2 blogs in one night! Maybe I feel inspired, maybe I've been told to blog, maybe it is just time to share?
So where have I been? What has been happening? Well I just did a update http://disneygirlgrowsup.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/update.html, but I now feel it is time to explain where I have been and basically why so quite!
After we got married, we decided it was time to make our family bigger, we have been very happy for the past 5 years being the 2 of us, but we have always talked about children and well after the wedding it seemed right.
As much as everyone told us we should enjoy the first year being married, get to know each other, it's been 5 years, nothing at this point is shocking to us! If anything we were planning on testing the "In sickness and in health"!
My personal history meant that I had been on the contraception pill since I was 15 years old, so I had been on it solidly for 10 years, never missing one and doing everything in my power to not get pregnant! So this was a big challenge and extremely scary.....because we don't even have a pet. I have proven in the past to my family I can keep a animal alive, but could we do it together? But what I will say and be honest about, we did a lot of running before we were walking. We spent a lot of time talking about the baby, how we're going to raise it, names, future holidays but there was a small problem no baby!
I stupidly thought getting pregnant couldn't be that hard, because lets face it on TV, you see people getting pregnant all the time and think well it can't be that hard!! How hard can it be really????
REALLY HARD!!!
My first point of call was the download an app Pink Pad on my phone, which said when I was due on and when I was ovulating. When I first downloaded it I got very excited, within the week I would be ovulating, and we were dreaming how wonderful to announce to everyone after Christmas we were pregnant! HA! Did you know that the pill messes up your ovulation? Basically instead of having a real period, you have a fake one that is not the full length of time you have and you generally have it when your not due to ovulate. It takes nearly 3 months for this to balance out and your periods to become normal! And on top of that you might be in bloom for the week but really it's a 2 day window!
Well by month 5 I was becoming angry, frustrated, annoyed and well to be honest again (there will be a lot of honesty in the next coming blogs) it becomes a system. Messages of today is the peak, we must conceive today, if not its another month! All around I was being told was so and so is pregnant, celebrities left, right and centre were pregnant AND I WAS NOT!
Month 6 came floating round and I was pretty unpleasant to be around, it's all I could think about...then the demon, mean thoughts what if there is a problem?! I even told my husband I hope if there is it's with him! Yeah that much of a bitch! Mother's Day was coming up and well to be honest I wasn't feeling it, all those mother's rubbing in how wonderful and fertile they were! On top of feeling like a bitch, I was not actually sleeping, in fact I had not slept properly for almost 2 weeks, I was so tired I sat in bed thinking about how tired I was. During my mum's Mother's Day meal, my brother blurted out was I pregnant? Typical bloke not drinking means your up the duff, but I was driving on the motorway after and was being sensible, but I did leave most of my meal and left thinking....was I? I was in fact due on my period on the Monday and after being bullied by my best friend I went out to get a test. Once did my most pathetic wee I could on the stick, I rang her shouting just one bloody line...I'm not pregnant, while she was trying to console me, that maybe too early, maybe try again tomorrow, something amazing happened I started to sob! A SECOND LINE!!!!!!!!
We both sat on the phone crying our eyes out, I was pregnant, she was pregnant it was all amazing. I went out afterwards to buy a Clear Blue test to be sure my 99p test wasn't lying and there it was 2 tests saying I was. Off the Doctors I went that afternoon, given my 11 no go foods paper work and with an appointment for my Midwife to visit.
So where have I been since March, well having a pretty strong and intense relationship with the toilet or Sick bucket!
If I wasn't being sick, I was feeling sick for 2 months solid! But more to come on that, with the trip to America!
But I can safely say at 23 weeks a baby is on it's way for November!
I have gone through many ups and downs with this pregnancy and hey that's a blog on it's own! But I will say this at 23 weeks, I still expect something to go wrong, I'm still in stock I have not miscarried, but this Disney Girl is Growing Up quickly as my parents would say!
See you soon to talk more about pregnancy!
Bye x x x
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